Which to Bury: Ceausescu or the Hatchet?

Nicolae Ceausescu, my second favorite Romanian dictator, was exhumed today to find a DNA match for an ongoing trial. This is heartbreaking news for tyrants everywhere. Can't they just leave us be? Wasn't it enough to seize him and his wife, give them an Iraqi speed trial, and execute them by firing squad?

What a lovable tyrant grin.

No, the public must have their justice. With all the fear Nicolae spread over his twenty-five years of sweet power, you'd think they'd be afraid to dig up his grave. The man's ghost surely rules the spirit world with a suspicious eye and an iron claw.

Nicky Chu (my nickname for him) deserves a more in-depth article. He established Securitate, a top-notch secret police force, gave his Labrador a motorcade, and was generally an all-around nice guy, as far as us bloodthirsty tyrants go. If he had impaled with impunity, he'd get more props from me than Vlad Tepes.